Helping Dads Through Pregnancy, Birth and Infancy.
Ways to Support Your Expectant Partner Through Pregnancy
Go to prenatal visits with your expectant partner. It will help you begin developing a relationship with your baby before he or she gets here. Your partner will also probably really appreciate your presence. Find out from Dr. Spock what to expect at prenatal visits.
Do what she does. You can support your expectant partner through her pregnancy by doing what she does. Since she has to eat healthier meals for the sake of your baby, you might want to cut back on junk food too; if you are both smokers you should quit during the pregnancy to support her efforts to quit smoking; try not to drink liquor in her presence; join her during her prenatal workout routine.
Educate Yourself. Start learning as much as you can about pregnancy, childbirth and infancy. Read books and articles, talk to friends, read the Healthy Pregnancy 101 section of our website, visit some of the helpful websites in the Related Links page also part of this website, and go with your partner to childbirth and infant care classes. This will start you on the road to being a great father and your partner will LOVE you for it!
Bond with the Baby. Try talking, singing, and reading to your unborn child. Spend a little time each day resting your hand on your partner’s womb. This will help you feel more connected to your baby and your partner.
A is for Active. Bottom-line: Be actively involved in every aspect of pregnancy and childbirth that you can. Research cribs, decorate the nursery, look up baby name books online, research pediatricians, and be your partner’s co-captain in getting ready for the arrival of your bundle of joy.
Managing the Mood Swings
Her Mood Swings
Pregnant women deal with major hormonal changes during pregnancy that can cause major mood swings. Expectant dads should be aware that:
¨ Emotional outbursts during pregnancy are normal.
¨ Expectant mothers may feel very vulnerable which can make
them more sad than usual.
¨ It’s not about right or wrong. You may be right, your expectant
wife may be overreacting (and she might actually be wrong)
however, pregnancy is not the best time to point this out. It’s
very important during pregnancy to learn when to LET IT GO.
¨ PATIENCE IS KEY. Try to be understanding and lend a patient
ear.
¨ NURTURING IS EVERYTHING. Hold her hand, fix her a meal, rub her back or feet, take her for a walk, or try to do something else that may help soothe her mood. Remember, you will NEVER understand the sacrifices your wife is making to give birth to your children. She deserves whatever extra nurturing you’re ready to give!
Expectant Dad’s Mood Swings
SURPRISE! Expectant moms are not the only ones who experience mood swings during pregnancy. The stress and anxiety of expecting a new baby can offset expectant fathers’ moods too.
It’s natural to feel forgotten, left out or jealous. Let your partner know if you’re feeling a little neglected (in a nice way, she’s probably not doing it on purpose). Try to get involved as much as possible in your wife’s pregnancy.
Depression happens. Mild depression among expectant fathers is common in pregnancy. Here a few ways to deal with it:
* Talk with someone, particularly an experienced father.
* Exercise more. Exercising with your expectant partner may also
be helpful, because it can improve your relationship.
* Do something nice for yourself or someone else, particularly
your partner.
* Do something kind for another person can often improve your
mood.
* If things don’t get better, don’t be afraid to seek professional
help.
Sympathy symptoms are pregnancy like symptoms that sometimes appear in expectant dads. Dad’s sometimes feel the same morning sickness, backaches, cramps, fatigue, and mood swings their expectant partners experience. Don’t laugh. It’s true, and it may happen to you! If you experience any of these symptoms don’t automatically assume that they are mental. If they persist have them checked out by a doctor. If you’re doctor fails to discover any physical explanations for your symptoms, talking through some of the feelings (fears, frustrations, anxiety, stress, etc.) that may be related to your expectant partner’s pregnancy may help.
Anxiety during pregnancy is very normal. You may be anxious about a number of things: your partner’s health, your baby’s health, being a good father, impending life changes, finances, healthcare, and more. You can alleviate some of these stressful worries by:
¨ Staying informed. Read as much as possible and talk to your healthcare providers (doctors, midwives, nurses, doulas, etc.). Being informed about what to expect is a major anxiety buster.
¨ Talking to more experienced friends and family who have children.
¨ Preparing as you go. Avoid waiting until the last minute to prepare for the arrival of your baby.
¨ Keeping lines of communication with your partner open.
¨ Remember you are not perfect and no one expects you to be. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice. Just try your best to be the most supportive partner you can be.
Birthing Room Blues. Many, many fathers experience anxiety about being in the delivery room while the mothers of their children are giving birth. Its less frightening and intimidating if you know what to expect so be sure to read up on what to expect in the delivery room, be familiar with the stages of labor and above all remember that your partner will always remember the support and encouragement you offered in that delivery room, so do your best, and don’t be too hard on yourself for being human.
Pregnancy & Sex
Most partners experience changes in their sex lives when they get pregnant. You or your woman might become MORE or LESS interested in sex. Why?
* Adjusting to the physical changes in the expectant woman’s
body might
make you or your woman less excited about sex.
* The physical discomforts of pregnancy, like fatigue or nausea, might make
sex feel a little uncomfortable or awkward
* Hormonal changes may affect expectant mothers’ sex drive.
* Expecting women sometimes become so preoccupied with the baby, that
sex becomes an afterthought.
** You might be afraid that sex might hurt the baby (don’t worry, if you are experiencing a normal, complication-free pregnancy, it won’t. The baby is well protected in the womb.)
How to deal with these changes:
¨ Make romance a priority. Focus on the nonsexual aspects of your relationship.
¨ Remember, intimacy is far more important than frequency.
¨ Communication is key. If you begin to feel worried, anxious or concerned about your sex life with your partner be open about how you are feeling.
¨ Good news: sex sometimes picks back up during the 2nd trimester.
¨ A focus on romance and increased foreplay may help increase sexual activity, but DO NOT pressure your expectant partner to have sex if she is not feeling up to it. This will only lead to problems.
Great advice for expectant dads can be found at these helpful websites:
7 Fears Expectant Fathers Face
An Expectant Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy